I had yet another stressful week in my life. Work was driving me crazy, I had financial issues that made NO sense, and my relationship was (and still is) not where I want it to be. So, being the woman I am, I decided to eat my feelings. That's right... My feelings were in the shape of a large hamburger pizza with extra cheese. Simply delicious. After eating half on Friday night and pounding another two slices the following morning, I felt better... Kind of...
Saturday morning, I made the dreaded trip to Wal-Mart. Quality folk running around that joint...not. But my broke ass has to shop there in order to do things like eat.
As I was walking around the store aimlessly, my stomach decided it wanted to remind me about that pizza I ate. Yup. It was knocking at my door (if you know what I mean). Lucky for me, it was only gas. You heard me, boys, GAS!
So being the super smart LADY I am, I had to come up with a plan and come up with one quick. Ladies (and gents) feel free to use this tip whenever out and about. I think it is and will be the best one I will have (until something else comes up)... I knew I had to poot. There was no avoiding it. My master plan went as follows:
- Run (or walk briskly) to the aisle with all the laundry soap.
- Start at one end and walk slowly, examining items you are not going to buy.
- Let out the gas, but keep it moving.
- Once you finish expelling your gas, hit the next aisle over. It usually consists of air fresheners and candles.